Here’s a small Christmas gift to you..
Twas the week before New Year’s, when all through .net,
Every Phish Phan was stirring, both n00bie and vet.
The tickets acquired by trades foul and fair,
In hopes that St. Icculus soon would be there.
The lizards were sleeping right under their beds,
Since all of the knowledge had leaked from their heads.
And Rutherford in armor, and Tela on beast,
Were waiting for Forbin’s return from the east.
When out by the Rhombus there burst sounds of tuning;
The lizards were wakened and all began swooning.
Above came a laser-light, rainbow hued flash,
As Kuroda lit the forest and Trey started Stash.
The glow of the black-lights on t-shirts below
Gave the crowd and their white out the luster of snow.
Then, what to their wondering ears should go bam,
But a Whipping Post bust-out, with 20 minute jam!
With Moses Brown drumming, so lively and quick,
They all thought for sure it was some kind of trick.
But Cactus and Chairman kept blazing along,
And they thumped and they pounded in song after song!
“Now Tweezer! now, Reba! now, Mango and Fee!
On, Comet! On, Bowie! on, on Wolfman’s and Free!
With the funkiest cow funk and balls to the wall!
Now jam away! Jam away! Jam away all!”
And so, ‘round the forest, the grooves they did fly,
They split and they opened and divided the sky.
So late in the night, and with sanity gone,
The boys just said ‘f*** it,’ and the concert raged on.
And then, with a rumble, a mountain appeared
But it looked like the mountain was sporting a beard.
As the lizards and phans turned their heads all around
The side of the mountain slid right to the ground.
So the mountain became then the face of a man,
And then Fish started screaming, like only Fish can.
But in the man’s eyes was a generous look,
And he carried before him a wonderful book!
His eyes-how they twinkled! His smile was so kind!
And with him, the Neti were marching behind!
The lizards, once cheering, now joyfully cried,
For there now was Forbin, McGrupp by his side!
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the kind smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
The Colonel spied Tela and puffed out his chest,
On his shoulder, a Mockingbird, taking a rest.
Then Icculus laughed, and the crowd let a whoop!
And the prophet just beamed at this lizard-phan troupe.
His laugh filled the air like a chorus of birds,
And he grinned while addressing the crowd with these words:
“I know that some tough times can make a heart harden,
And it’s no easy road to get to the Garden.
But we’re all here now, whether by fate or by chance.
So, if you please, Trey, count off YEM and LET’S DANCE!”
So each of them put on a perfect rage face,
And each clapped their hands, for it was the right place.
And you heard them all say, with a beautiful sound:
“Happy New Year’s to all, and now let’s all GET DOWN!”